Jesse,
"I miss you now more than ever before
But, I trust that God will open a door
And show me how to go on without you
To give me some hope and comfort too.
For you were my life and I love you so dear
And it breaks my heart to not have you near
But life goes on and I will too
I just wish that it wouldn't go on without you.
All My Love"
Susan
|
Susan Greene |
November 28, 2009 |
You are my sunshine
I was just thinking about the song "You are my sunshine" and realized what that song really means. From the time you told me that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you, I was lit from within by a light and a warm feeling that was very much like sunshine. In my entire life- childhood, teen years, adult years- I never felt as happy and loved as you made me feel. It was like I was a whole person with you-not someone who didn't deserve to even BE. You were the person I had waited my whole life to find. When you went away-my sunshine died and I've been in the dark ever since. There is a deeper, more oppressive, consuming darkness in my soul than I could ever have imagined. I don't want to be around anyone, no one understands, everyone thinks I should be getting better-I GET SO ANGRY! DON'T THEY KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU WERE? Don't they know that I can't just go on. There is no sunshine in my life any more-and never will be again. A person only finds that once in a lifetime if they are extremely lucky. I feel like I am waiting or searching for you all the time to come back and take me with you. I miss you so!!!
